It's all relative

One thing I struggle with as a mom is that I can only see Bubbers as he is right now and I forget how he used to look. The only way I'm able to notice his gradual changes in appearance is by watching videos or looking at pictures. But even then, I can't really remember on my own. (It's actually hard for me to believe that that's my same son in the video as who's in my arms).

In fact, I often wish I could see him through other people's eyes. That I could say, "Wow, he's so much bigger than the last time I saw him!" or "He's sure looking more like his Dad!" I mean, I know he's changing and getting bigger, I just can't really see it or feel it. And that makes me sad.

Yesterday, Charming and I watched little Preston, so his parents (our good friends) could go to the temple. Preston is about three months younger than Bubbers, and it was so delightful having them together.

This is a picture from the first time we met Preston, when he was only 12 days old:

Here's a picture from yesterday:

It was so fun for me to have Preston there with us. Not only was he absolutely sweet, but in a way, he allowed me to "see" Bubbers through other people's eyes.

I was able to hold little Preston and feel how small he was compared to Bubbers. For once I could actually feel how heavy Bubbers was when I picked him up, you know what I mean? Usually it never registers--Bubbers is Bubbers. He doesn't feel heavy or light, he's just what he is.

But I loved being able to hold Preston and be like, "Wow, you really fit in one arm without hurting my back. That's right. Bubbers used to be like that." And then I could pick up Bubbers, "Uuff, man are you heavy!"

And little Preston was sooo cuddly. You could hold him on your shoulder and he'd just nestle in your neck. And his head smelled so good--exactly like a baby should.

I'd love to say that Bubbers used to do that, but he never did. He's never really been a cuddler. Sometimes he falls asleep with his head in the crook of my neck and I sigh happily and pretend he's cuddling me, but that's about it. (Oh, and sometimes he rubs his face back and forth against my shoulder like he's got an itchy face. I like that.)

I also wish he smelled good all the time, but that's not true either. He smells good right after he's taken a bath and I smother him in lotion. But then he slowly gets that milky smell again from all his spitting up.

That was another amazing thing about Preston--he never spit up! Not once the whole time we had him! You could hug him, and there weren't 45 layers of burp rags and soggy bibs between you and him. It was just: him!

Whenever I start to ache for a hug from Bubbers without all the layers, I take off his bib, put down the burp rag and then hold him tight and close my eyes. But I'm never really at ease. I'm always listening for that gurgling sound that usually precedes the spewing fountain.

Wow, I never realized how much the spitting up factor changes things... Bubbers has spit up from two weeks old on, so we've just gotten used to it--that's just how he is. (Well, as much as you can get used to it, since it's completely unpredictable). He goes through 30 bibs and 20 burp rags in about four days (in addition to all his clothes and all our clothes).

But I can't complain, because he got it from me. According to my Mom, I was the spit-up queen. So, I just have to smile and shrug my soggy shoulders.

It was also neat to see the developmental differences between Preston and Bubbers. What a difference three months makes at their age! A difference that will fade to nothing in just a few years.

A Cry for Help: Update

Wow, thank you everyone for your great advice and support! Just asking for help made me feel better about the whole thing. :)

I've deliberated long and hard about what to do... I bought rice cereal and little spoons with the "soft bite" ends. I even pumped one morning so I could put it in the rice cereal. But when it came down to giving my little baby solid food, I just couldn't do it.

Actually, just opening the new spoons and holding them in my hand made my eyes misty. One of my sisters-in-law emailed me some advice rather than posting a comment, and she said that above all, enjoy him being a baby. Her oldest "baby" is now 10, and she said it flies as fast as everyone says it does.

Holding those spoons in my hand suddenly made me see Bubbers walk into the kitchen as a young man, standing taller than me with a deep voice and his father's quick wit. (Oh boy, here come the tears again...). By the time Charming found me, I was a mess and he just opened his arms and I "soggified" his shoulder.

I even went so far as to convince myself Bubbers didn't actually need to start solid foods until at least 8 or 9 months old, if that. But then a good friend reminded me that he really does need to start at 6 months for the iron.

"Oh, yeah," I remembered, "I forgot about that..."

So, I froze the milk. I ran the spoons through the dishwasher and put them in the drawer. Then I put the rice cereal in the cupboard.

Two more weeks, I told myself.

Then last night, I rolled out of bed as soon as I heard him wake up. As I fed him, I looked down at his small pudgy fingers. I reached for them and he grasped my thumb. Pulling his fingers up to my lips, I kissed them.

They'll only be this small once, I thought.

Suddenly, I wasn't in such a rush to eliminate his middle-of-the-night feedings.

On a brighter note...

Here are a couple pictures Charming and I had fun using Fireworks on (I always call it Firefox and then Charming shakes his head sadly).

We tried out some tricks we learned from Pioneer Woman. Fortunately, Charming knows how to do the Photoshop stuff she talks about in Fireworks instead.

by Heidi (and Charming) 2007

That trickle of drool on his chin is my favorite part of this picture! (Well, and how he's sucking in his lower lip. And his crinkled up eyebrows. Okay, and everything!)

by Heidi (and Charming) 2007

A Cry for Help

So, Charming and I are trying to "eliminate" Bubbers' last remaining feeding at night. According to Dr. Ferber on page 141, he says:

...basically no normal, healthy full-term babies still require a nighttime feeding when they are five months old, and you can certainly insist on stopping them altogether if you want to.

Bubbers is 5 1/2 months old (and normal and healthy and all that), so we decided to "insist on stopping them altogether".

Now, I have loved Dr. Ferber's book through and through. He didn't make me want to bang my head against a wall or chuck him out the window to feed the squirrels in my backyard like another book which shall remain nameless. But the thing is, he didn't really explain how to "insist on stopping them altogether". Usually he's really good about that, but not so much for this issue.

So, I was visiting teaching last week and I asked my partner (a mother of three) and the woman we were visiting (a mother of one) how they stopped. They both said, "Cry it out."

We have tried, but we just don't get Bubbers. He's completely unpredictable. On Sunday morning, he slept 11 hours and had to be woken up for church. We patted ourselves on the back, thinking we had this thing down pat. Then he slept only 7 hours, but only cried for 20 minutes. Then last night he slept only 6 hours and then cried for 2 1/2 hours (on and off), before I decided, "That's enough." (Poor Charming couldn't sleep (I should have given him a pair of earplugs), so he got up and watched a Cosby episode on DVD and ate some cereal).

To help us, I've been diligently charting his sleep habits on Dr. Ferber's little chart, but can't see any pattern of why he's unpredictable (hence the use of the word: unpredictable). Then I get to wondering about possible teething or growth spurts or alien invasions. Should I just give up? No, I think we can do it...

So, now I'd like to ask more moms out there what did you do to get your babies to give up their last nighttime feeding??

I've heard many moms swear that rice cereal does the trick. Currently, Bubbers is breastfed full-time and we prefer to wait until 6 months to start solids, but I'm willing to try it, if that's what he needs (heck, it's only a couple weeks off anyways). I only ask that if that is your recommendation, please give me specifics, because I am clueless as to how to do that. (For example, How much do you give exactly? When do you give it--the absolute last thing before bed? Or do you do rice cereal and then nurse? Or nurse and then rice cereal?)

Poor little Bubbers has always been such a good sleeper for us, I feel badly that I'm messing him all up now. But hopefully I'll get an answer to my prayers soon... Thank you!!

A few pictures

What we've been up to lately...

Bubbers' latest trick: grabbing his feet (and then rolling to the side--oh so close to rolling over all the way. Dad is encouraging it, Mom is enjoying it--but definitely okay with him not moving, yet).

by Heidi 2007

Teething? He's chomping and drooling up a storm (and we think we feel something coming up).

by Heidi 2007

A little light reading: Showcasing an adorable outfit from Charming's Mom and a tender book from Charming's Dad. (I loved how these turned out!)

by Heidi 2007

by Heidi 2007

Mom's bright idea: Hmm, how to get Bubbers and the folded laundry moved across the house at the same time? Think, think, think...

What a smile! Wow--he really does smile for strangers! (At least friendly female ones).

Out to dinner: Hey, Love, is that our son's pacifier that just fell on the floor? And did you just pick it up, suck on it and then put it back in his mouth? Yummy.

Dad's sense of humor: Mmmm, dessert!

A real scout leader! Charming bought a frame backpack off Craigslist to use on scout camp outs. (I got to help him pack--then I hid a secret love letter in the bottom pocket). :) Sorry about the blinkage.

5 things Meme

For once, I'm actually all ready for the day and the Little Man is still napping (wow!), so I'm going to take a stab at Tearese's "5 things Meme". (Altered just a little).

-----
5 things I was doing 5 years ago:
(sorry, I couldn't remember enough from 10 years ago--that's why I keep journals--I can't remember what I did yesterday)

1. Starting my senior year at the UW
2. Learning to fall asleep while sitting up in a commuter bus
3. Waking up the strange guy snoring on my shoulder in a commuter bus
4. Applying to graduate school at the UW
5. Asking my husband to make dinner because I was too tired (I was anemic--who knew??)

-----
5 things on my to-do list today:

1. Go grocery shopping
2. Write some emails for my church calling as Enrichment Leader
3. Change my son's diaper (he's awake now and just let loose while sitting here in my lap--excuse me for a minute)
4. Scan 5 pages of pictures from my Mom's 6th family photo album
5. Make dinner for my husband

-----
5 snacks I enjoy:

1. Trail mix with M&M's
2. Costco peanut butter bars
3. Vanilla yogurt with grapes, topped with granola (mmm!)
4. Cold cereal
5. Cinnamon graham crackers dipped in milk

-----
5 things I would do if I were a millionaire:

1. Buy more clothes that fit me now
2. Buy photography lights
3. Buy Photoshop
4. Add a few more rooms to our house (and then hire a maid)
5. Save the rest and keep it a secret from our kids

-----
5 bad habits:

1. Wanting to stay up late and sleep in
2. Being indirect
3. Making piles around the house of things to do that rarely get done
4. Spending too much time online (so it's a really good thing I started a blog)
5. Being late (and taking too much time to do things)

-----
5 things people probably don't know about me:

1. I'm an introvert stuck in an extrovert's body
2. I write romance stories I never finish or let anyone read
3. I worry too much about what other people think
4. I'm afraid of water and can't swim (almost drowned as a kid and afraid ever since)
5. It's difficult for me to call people (especially to ask for help)

-----
Um, I don't think I'm going to tag anyone... As far as I know, Tearese and Charming are my only regular readers, and Tearese already did it and I don't think it's controversial enough for Charming's blog. So, I'll just say, "You're it!" and whatever random person stumbles across this gets tagged. :)

Oh so cute!!

I was reading some comments on one of Pioneer Woman's posts, and ran across a link to the cutest, most heart-warming baby video I have ever seen!

Check it out!

This is definitely going to be added to my "Other Favorites" sidebar so I can watch it anytime I feel down and need an instant lift.

Gem for the day

Tonight, Charming and I taught a short "Dinner Etiquette" class to the Deacons and Beehives at church (aka: 12 and 13-year-olds).

-------------------
Charming: "Who can tell me what the men are supposed to do when a lady gets up from your table?"

Young man: "Stand up."

Charming: "That's right! What do you do when she comes back?"

Young man: "Sit down."
-------------------

Happy Birthday to Me!

Charming instigated some quick Craigslist shopping and online research to get us a fantastic new camera! When I hold this baby, I just feel like a real photographer. It's black. It's heavy. It even makes a real "click" when you snap a picture!

With Charming's help, I took a second shot (ha, ha) at Bubbers' five-month pictures using the new beast.

What do you think?

by Heidi 2007

by Heidi 2007

by Heidi 2007

Goodbye, My Friend

I lost a dear friend today amidst tragic circumstances. But first, let me take you back to last night...

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"I'm sorry, Love, I just can't find a stud," Prince Charming explained apologetically.

He was standing on the bed, moving the stud-finder back and forth under our popcorn ceiling.

"What should we do?" I asked.

"Well, let's try it without one," he answered.

I handed him the ceiling hook and he screwed it into the ceiling (with his bare hands--I was impressed). Then I handed him the edge of my new purchase: 4 yards of black fabric.

Charming attached the fabric to the ceiling hook and ever so gently let it go. The weight of the fabric easily pulled the hook out of the ceiling and it all toppled down.

"Uh-oh," I said.

Charming and I decided to bag our efforts for the evening. My lofty plans to hold Bubbers' five-month photo shoot in my makeshift "studio" weren't working out as well as I'd hoped...

------------------------------------

This morning, I was huffing and puffing to my step-aerobics tape when Charming popped his head into the family room.

Bubbers was in his walker back in the corner (carefully positioned so he couldn't watch the TV).

"Hi, Bubbers!" Charming cooed over at him.

Bubbers didn't even blink. All he did was stare at my flailing with a blank, open-mouthed expression. The tray on his walker was overflowing with toys, but he ignored them and steadily fixed his eyes on me.

"Hey, Little Man!" Charming tried again, getting closer and louder.

Bubbers started from his trance, glanced at his Dad momentarily then slowly, as if drawn by a powerful force, returned his gaze to me.

I don't look that bizarre... do I?

Defeated, Charming turned to me, "It's done!"

"What's done?"

"Your hooks," he explained, "I found a ceiling stud and they're all done--drilled and everything!"

"Thanks, Love!!"

That's my Prince!

------------------------------------

Things were falling into place! During Bubbers' nap, I hung my new black fabric over our bed and assembled my cameras.

"Happy 5 months!" I cooed, scooping him out of his crib after he woke up all smiles.

I carried him into Heidi's Studio (in the flesh!) and the photo-shoot began!

It was going along just perfectly!

I couldn't have been happier!

And that's when it happened.

My camera died. Right then and there. Kapoot. Frozen. No hope of return.

My dear friend and companion of over two years. A sweet graduation gift from Prince Charming. My first digital camera ever. The producer of thousands and thousands of treasured pictures. Gone just like that.

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"Please leave me a message after the beep."

Beep!

"Hey, Love, it's Heidi," I said into the phone, "You know how you were asking me what I wanted for my birthday? Well, I know what I want now, so gimme a call when you get the chance. Love you, bye."

Farmer in Training

There are many people who adore Bubbers.

The free sample ladies at Costco. Our neighbors. Little children. The Relief Society ladies. The teachers and priests who play "peek-a-boo" and make him laugh in Priesthood opening exercises. Strangers on the street. Me. Prince Charming.

And, of course, his wonderful grandparents.

Bubbers has found an especially fond place in the hearts of Charming's parents. They love hearing about Bubbers and I love talking about Bubbers, so it's a perfect match! :)

The first time Charming's parents met Bubbers, they brought him a special gift. Or rather, Grandpa brought him a special gift. And it's been hanging in Bubbers' closet since then, awaiting the day that it fit.

Today was that day. After Bubbers' morning nap, I gave him an extra soapy bath so he'd be extra soft and extra good smelling. (Mmm, I love the smell of a freshly bathed baby).

Then I put it on and got the camera.

We love you, Grandpa!!

The Squealer

Here's a video of Bubbers in his jumper. He loves his jumper which means we love his jumper. Which also means we put hooks all over, so he can be in his jumper wherever we go. This is in our back garage.

My little cutesie wootsie pies!

I Don't Know

Prince Charming was very sweet and took Bubbers for a walk so I could have some alone time and write a post.

"What are you going to write about?" Charming asked, putting Bubbers in his umbrella stroller.

"I don't know."

I still don't know, so I just started typing. I haven't posted anything for a few days and just missed it. Is it weird that a blog can start to feel like a friend? And even weirder that it feels bad to neglect it?

Well, I feel better now that I've written something. I think I'll work on posting a video of Bubbers squealing in his jumper. You can't go wrong with a video of Bubbers.

I didn't hear him come home

One morning Charming was glad that I was videotaping...

Mystery Solved

My husband is an only child. I'm from a large family. Somehow, though, I'm the one who acts like an only child, while Charming acts like the one from a large family. I've always wondered why that was, until now.

In scanning my Mom's pictures for my current movie project, I came across this gem that sheds some light on the situation...

I have no memories of this, but it appears I'm being ceremoniously drawn in a cardboard carriage by a pajama-clad entourage while being served cool refreshment by my sister Nelly.

Mystery solved.

I Love Charming

Yet, again, Charming proves to be a wonderful husband.

Thanks, Love! :)

(Click here).

The Thumb War

Long before we had kids I decided they wouldn't suck their thumbs. I think I've always felt that way--at least as long as I can remember--but the decision became solidified during my former life as a speech-language pathologist.

"Bite down and show me your teeth," I said and turned my client's head with gloved hands to get a profile view of her pearly whites.

Mhm, that's what I thought, eyeing the large overbite that was causing her lisp, She was a thumb-sucker.

The poor girl didn't stand a chance without some serious orthodontia work. I informed her parents there wasn't much I could do to help her until her overbite was corrected.

When little Bubbers came along, I was ready.

"Uh-oh," my Mom said a few days after his birth, "I think he takes after you." (Referring to my infantile need to suck 24/7).

I watched him like a hawk and the minute he showed an ounce of blurry, cross-eyed interest in his hands I broke out the first line of artillery: no-scratch mittens in five different colors and two different sizes.

That kid didn't know he had hands 'til he was 3 months old. Sure, I took a lot of grief for it, but there was no way I was going to let him suck his thumb.

Did he actually ever try to suck his thumb? Well, no, but that was irrelevant (ah, the wonderful folly of being a first-time parent).

Then Bubbers started using his hands. My heart broke when he reached his little mittened hand up to bat at a dangling toy.

Okay, I relented, He can have his hands whenever I'm watching him.

The mittens were removed and only replaced when he wasn't within my line of sight (i.e., naps & bedtime).

He started grabbing things with his chubby little fingers. (Burping after a feeding suddenly became more complicated as he got his perpetually sweaty fingers tangled in my hair and pulled me this way and that like a puppet on strings).

Then the sucking began. It was small at first. A couple sucks of his index finger here. A slobbery fist there.

Well, I told myself, I suppose it's okay if he sucks, as long as he doesn't show a preference for a certain finger or something.

I never knew how cute he would be, aimlessly, yet ferociously, sucking one to four digits at any given time. Happily, he looked up at me and cooed with his mouth full.

Awwww, I smiled, blissfully snapping a hundred pictures.

But it couldn't last forever.

"Hey, Love," I said suddenly, "What's Bubbers doing?"

We both stopped and stared. He looked like he was sucking his right fist, but there was something about it that wasn't quite right...

"He's sucking his thumb!!" we answered simultaneously.

Albeit, it was only the itsy bitsy tip of his right thumb, but there was thumb suckage nonetheless.

That's when I pulled out my second line of defense: pacifiers.

A plethora of age-appropriate pacifiers were strategically placed throughout the house and one attached to his ever present bib.

Now I've got you, I thought confidently.

Whenever Bubbers sucked the tip of his thumb, I said, "No thumbs, please," and replaced it with his pacifier.

A few days ago, Bubbers upped the ante and found his entire right thumb in isolation of his fist!

"No thumbs, please," was uttered constantly, and I forgot what Bubbers looked like without a pacifier in his mouth.

One night during a diaper change, Bubbers threw down the ultimate gauntlet...

I looked up to find him sucking his thumb AND the pacifier at the same time!!

Holy smokes! I didn't even know that was possible!


I knew things were quickly getting out of hand (no pun intended), so I pulled out the big guns: extra long socks.

The mittens of his youth had become no match for Bubbers--they were easily removed and mysteriously thrown out of his crib. Searching for an alternative, I remembered my sister Nelly had mentioned that socks can work as mittens.

Bubbers' right arm became a soggy sock.

Heaven help us if he ever finds out he has a left thumb.

Introductions: Part 3

This is my son: Bubbers

Bubbers brightens my every day (sometimes a little too early, but that's okay). Here's a picture from today, where I got him to smile after a nap (I tell you what, there's nothin' in the world better than that).

Charming and I adore him to pieces. Every night we sneak into his room and whisper "Good night, Little Man" and "We love you, Bubbers" to him. Then we high-tail it out of there before we wake him up. (He's a trooper, though--didn't even budge when I used the flash one night to snap this one--it's all about the non-REM sleep).

He is my precious little buddy!

Here are few Bubbers tidbits:

• has his Dad's easygoing personality & rugged good-looks
  
• loves to eat
• very observant
• great sense of humor
• appears quite serious in public--rarely cracks a smile for strangers (which makes Mom and Dad feel special)
• enjoys the outdoors & new places
• large in stature & surprisingly strong
• fountain of never-ending spit-up
  
• incredible sucking instinct
• exceptional sleeper
• has the most wonderfully soft, chubby, kissable cheeks ever to grace this planet
  

Introductions: Part 2

This is me: Heidi (in my younger, blonder prime)

To know me is to know how much I love the land of my youth. This is the spectacular view I lived and breathed every day while growing up in the Carson Valley in Nevada. (And who says Nevada isn't pretty?)

Those years were made special because of my family. Here's my all-time favorite picture of my wonderfully large family. (I'm the second to the youngest--with the long brown hair).

Things got even bigger and better when we started adding in-laws! We're missing a sister-in-law here, but it's the most complete one we have of the adults... (We're also sans adorable children--of which there are 21 to date, and still counting!)

Here a few Heidi tidbits:

• adores children like nothing else
  
• sentimental
• easily emotional (times a million ever since I got pregnant with my son)
• (annoyingly?) loud guffaw laugh
• cheerful
  
• loves anything romantic
  
• very organized
• driven
• enjoys music
• optimistic
• aspires to be published someday
  

To be continued...

Introductions: Part 1

Before I go much further, I should probably make some introductions...

This is my husband: Prince Charming

He is a great sport about my addiction to pictures--especially considering he strongly dislikes getting his picture taken. Here is one of his coping mechanisms...

We met at college where he courted me like the wonderful gentleman that he is. I'll always remember him spontaneously helping me on with my jacket during our second date and how it melted my heart. Wow, I thought, No one's ever done that for me before.

Charming became my best friend and I soon realized that I never, ever wanted to be away from him...

So, one beautiful spring morning, we got married for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake Temple.

Here are a few Charming tidbits:

• funniest person I've ever met (he's got the best one-liners ever!)
• tall, dark & handsome
  
• loves a clean house
• avid reader
• always willing to serve
  
• loves to be with people
  
• enjoys a good meal
  
• sensitive & kind
• honest
  
• loves his baby son (favorites: holding him while he sleeps, making him laugh, getting him after a nap, pajama hugs, bath time, playing games, sneaking into his dark room to watch him while he sleeps)
  
• brilliant
• attentive
  
• easygoing
  
• the perfect husband for Heidi

To be continued....

What's in a Name?

Choosing names has always been difficult for me--especially under pressure. I sat there staring at the screen, my husband looking over my shoulder.

"What are you going to call it?" Charming asked.

"Uh...I'm not sure," I answered nervously.

I typed in a title. Delete. I tried another one. Delete.

Finally I just took a deep breath, typed it in, closed my eyes and clicked the button.

"Why did you choose that one?" Charming asked.

Uh-oh, I thought, Isn't it obvious?

See, I love making DVD movies. It combines my two great loves: family and home videos/pictures. (My nieces and nephews wouldn't recognize Aunt Heidi without a camera glued to her face).

I learned about video authoring a few years ago and it was like the heavens opened with an angelic choir singing and light poured down upon my upturned face.

This is my calling! I thought, and I've never looked back.

Mostly I make movies of family reunions. See, I have three brothers and four sisters. All but one of us are married with children and we're all scattered across the western half of the United States. But we love being together. So every year we pack up our children and car seats and trek to my parents' house in beautiful California. Then we live it up with Mom's delicious cooking, late-night Mafia games, music performances and tons of laughter!

So far I've made three movies. Fortunately, my family loves them. In fact, this last reunion they made me cry when my oldest brother gave me a check to buy a new computer! Secretly, the whole family pooled together money for me and my husband bought me this sweet new machine that's so fast! (Can you believe that? Am I lucky, or what?)

Anyhow, while making my second movie, I recruited my brilliant husband to make a Flash clip to be my new trademark: Heidi's Studio. I wanted something simple, classy and feminine. Of course, he did a great job--exactly what I wanted. (Like I said, he's just brilliant. And funny, too. And handsome).

That was a couple years ago, and now Heidi's Studio has taken on an entity all its own. (That doesn't mean I have to pay taxes on my family's gift money, does it?)

So, it was the natural choice for the name of my new blog.

(p.s. My current project is huge--kind of a biographical piece spanning from my parents' births to their children's marriages. My goal is to have it finished in time for their 40th wedding anniversary next year. Here's a link to the trailer I just made for it).

Taking the Plunge...

Last night I was looking at some friends' blogs and thought, "These are so neat. Too bad I'm not interesting enough to be able to do a blog." Then I said it out loud to my husband who was sitting on the floor of our bedroom working on some of his computer magic on our laptop.

"You should totally do a blog!" Charming replied, "I'm surprised you haven't already. I've always thought that would be your kind of thing."

"Really??" I smiled--and that was it.

I couldn't get the thought out of my head. While I brushed my teeth I started mentally composing entries. After we said our couple's prayer and I was supposed to be asleep, I was thinking about my blog. When my 4-month-old woke up at 4:00 a.m. for his feeding, I thought about my blog.

I did try to talk myself out of it. "It'll just be another thing you'll need to keep up on," I said, "You don't need another item on your to-do list." I didn't listen.

"Okay, so you do start a blog--what if it takes over your life and you don't do anything else?" I tried another approach, "Remember all your chores now that you're a homemaker? How are you going to do all that and a blog, hm?" Still, I didn't listen.

So, here I am writing my first entry on my new blog. And it feels deliciously right.